Got Any Spare Money?

I've just received a catalogue from a well known Pet Company. What an interesting read it is too. It just goes to show that there is a market for everything.

I just looked at the equipment recommended to train a dog in basic good manners compared to what it would cost using Amichien Bonding.

Do you want to stop your dog going into a particular area indoors? No problem, all you need do is spend £160 for a spray barrier to spray some unpleasant fluid at your pet if he approaches. Of course that will only cover one area of the house so, if you have more than one 'no-go area......... Then of course you will need to buy the refills of 'training spray', they don't come cheap. But, I hear you ask. What if we have more than one dog? Well don't worry because for only an extra £30 per dog you can annoy, distress and confuse multiple canines at the same time.

O.K. We've now got the dog too worried to move about the house but hey, he might still bark BAD DOG!! How dare he do something so natural? Don't worry once again technology triumphs over taking the time and effort to understand your dog. For only £70 you can buy a machine to emit a sound that will cause a dog discomfort if they bark. It is very clever because it can be adjusted so that if the tone can be heard by a human with very sensitive hearing you can alter the pitch. It would not do for a human to be made uncomfortable would it?

Right, now the dog is in the garden. He's away from the indoor gadgets. He can relax a bit and start being a dog can't he? Come on! What if he goes on the flowers? What if you couldn't be bothered to make the garden secure? Electric Fencing that's the answer. Lull him into a false sense of security and then..... ZAP!! He won't do that again will he? Only he will. When a dog is frightened or angry they will power through the pain barrier and there is a good chance that the last you will see of him is his rear end as he heads over the hills and far away. How much will that cost you? The answer ranges from exorbitant to utterly ridiculous depending upon the area covered. Of course you might also need to buy a replacement dog

Your home and garden are now secure but of course the whole idea of having a dog is so that you can interact with him on nice healthy walks. What if he barks when you're with him? There must be a way of stopping him from barking outside and of course there is, this one only costs £80 (plus refills) and, joy of joys this time you get a choice. Do you spray citrus in his face or good old traditional mustard? At this point I would suggest to potential buyers of these gadgets that they try them on themselves. They could rub lemon juice on one eyeball and Colmans English mustard on the other. They could then reflect as they hold their head under running cold water that a dog can't use a tap or even rub their eyes.

You are now at the stage of letting your dog off the lead. A big moment for both of you but you are about to give-up complete control. What if he does not respond to your every whim? Well for only £165 you can buy yet another gadget. This one works upto 200 metres away. I particularly like the advertising blurb with this one. 'Now you can control your dog at a distance. WITHOUT PUNISHING HIM you can cause him to hear a sharp unpleasnt sound at the same time as being sprayed in the face with cold liquid and being distracted by the sight of a harmless mist. This will let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable'. I don't know how the manufacturers define punishment but equipment like that wouldn't be allowed in prisons.

There are still all the special types of harness and headcollars to make sure that the dog does not pull. Of course you could just teach him how to walk properly in the first place. You might also want to buy the airhorns and numerous other bits of expensive kit to distract your dog. The amount of money you can spend is endless. Before you do consider:-

If your dog is not doing what you want him to do:-

Does he KNOW what you want him to do? If he does and is still not doing it:-

Have you trained him how to do it? Remember you can't tell a dog what to do but you CAN show him in a stress free way.

Only if your dog knows what you want, has been trained how to do it and still does not comply do you have major problems. Yes you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Rather than make your house look like Dr Who's Tardis you could raise your dog using Amichien Bonding and learn to understand why a dog reacts the way he does to various situations and to day to day life in the human pack. What equipment will you need to use Amichien Bonding?

Oh, just a collar, a lead and a toy.

If however you would rather spend vast amounts of money to make manufacturers rich and inflict pain and misery on animals then please contact me URGENTLY........I have a bridge that I want to sell you!!